Skip to content

Tag: sex

Rapists among us

Published in Malay Mail Online

The return of convicted serial rapist Selva Kumar Subbiah following deportation from Canada has opened up a can of worms about the way Malaysian men deal with the issue of rape.

While Malaysian women were understandably worried, some of their male counterparts, most of them youths, had instead showed their ugly faces as rape apologists.

A few comments made on social media mocked women for their worry, claiming they have no right to complain about rape when they themselves choose to dress sexily and act sluttily.

Some claimed that even fathers will be drawn to rape their own sexy daughters. Others admitted they themselves are capable of rape against sexy women.

Some were baffled that women complained of rape when they themselves commit illicit sexual acts. Do you not enjoy rape too? they asked.

Many think that Selva Kumar’s return is a blessing so that women will now cover themselves up and be more careful for fear of getting raped.

Surely by now many of you readers understand how this is problematic. But I believe that in reality, many of our youths do not see this as such and that is the real problem.

Why TransMalaya’s bus segregation has little to do with protecting women

Long-haul bus operator TransMalaya Ekspres has been practising gender segregation in its buses since February 2015 before it was featured by Berita Harian yesterday, and subsequently Malay Mail Online by following up with Noorlini Ramli, the owner and co-founder of KRZ Management Sdn Bhd that manages the fleet.

The revelation was met with outrage over the spill of moral policing into the transport industry that would also affect non-Muslims, reminiscent of segregated check-out lines in Kelantan.

The outrage however was mocked by among others Islamist group Ikatan Muslimin Malaysia (Isma), who claimed it contradicts liberals and feminists’ goal of protecting women. It also became the subject of a webcomic by VulpineNinja (which itself does not reflect the exact facts of the case).

Supporters of the policy lambasted critics, believing that it protects women from sexual harassment, which was backed by Noorlini’s claim:

“The point of this is to give an advantage to our female passengers because we have heard and read reports of how female travellers get molested by strangers, so we took this effort to give them a greater sense of security and comfort.

“This is for both Muslim and non-Muslim. We simply want to avoid any untoward incidents.”

Is it, though? While there is undeniable intent that the policy is meant to ensure women’s safety, it reeks much more of moral policing.

It is homophobia that is unnatural

Published in The Malaysian Insider

Homosexual behaviour can be seen universally in nearly all species, but homophobia is seen in only one — humans. We are the only species capable of thinking that homosexuality is not only unnatural, but is the root cause of all evil and destruction.

Various species like bottlenose dolphins, black swans, penguins, fruit flies, and bonobo apes display bisexuality and homosexuality. Homo sapiens like some conservative Malay NGOs and a number of our politicians want their government to throw homosexuals in a rehab centre and eradicate the LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) from the face of our country.

BN MP Baharum Mohamad claimed in Dewan Rakyat that homosexuality is as dangerous as alcohol, cigarettes, and drug addiction. Much like an alcoholic turning sober, Baharum thinks that gays have a secret switch, which, when turned off in a rehab centre, will magically render them straight.

Wondering how easy it is to present “citation needed” figures dressed as facts in Dewan Rakyat? Baharum only had to pluck “scary” statistics out of thin air, claiming that (gasp) THREE out of 10 men in Malaysia are gay. No peer-reviewed papers, no double-checked numbers, no certified facts needed.

Teach me about sex

Published in The Malaysian Insider

Forget that when people think about sexual prowess, they don’t automatically think keropok lekor. Forget that the amount of Tongkat Ali additive available in health supplement products is too little to work. The fact that Terengganu thinks it’s a prudent idea to sell Tongkat Ali-laced keropok lekor reflects that there is a sizable demand for it.

Perhaps it is time to admit that our society is obsessed with sex. More accurately, we are obsessed with ubat kuat-kind of sexual performance, but not so much the aspects that would benefit from sex education.

Last month, my fiancee and I attended the nationally-mandatory two-day kursus kahwin. If anything, we were looking forward to the class about sexual health, in particular family planning. Instead, we were left unsatisfied (your mileage might vary).

How many kids do you think can a woman bear in her lifetime? Six? 10? By some dubious mathematics, a preacher suggested that women can bear 30 kids in their lifetime, and therefore the participants must breed as many children as biologically possible.

“If you don’t breed, we Malays will be over-run in numbers by the non-Malays. We will then lose our voting power,” he explained. “Just look at Singapore, where Muslims are the minority.”

It sounded like a bad joke, but many of the participants took the advice to heart. The preacher also warned against masturbating: “Your testes are gifts from God, the human race will disappear if you don’t take care of your sperm.”

“You only have 30 million sperms in your ejaculate, you need as many of them as possible to inseminate the egg,” he urged sternly. I hesitated to tell him that’s not exactly how it works.

This emphasis on performing as a way to prove your manliness, and delivering babies upon babies is in stark conflict with the attitude towards unmarried couples who are expected to remain chaste.